King of bad jokes! ME?

For some unknown reason, my 13 year old daughter told me that I was just like the Dad of one of the characters in a book she was reading. Really I said, thinking that I was probably a dashing hero who had saved his daughter from some imminent peril. So she goes and gets the book to READ me the excerpt about 'what a great guy I am. I could hardly wait. Well here it is:

[I suppose I should set it up a bit. The book is called 'Animal Attraction' Slow down there people...its about a girl who gets a summer job at a theme park. Her job is to dress up in a beaver suit and entertain the kids.] Well, anyway, here is the excerpt that she read to me:


If this keeps up, I'll need a psychiatrist by Labor Day.
Today's my first day of swim lessons, so I'm going to hit the pool early and start on Coach Latham's workout routine.
I stumble into the kitchen and pour myself a bowl of Honeycombs. I'm so out of it, I don't even notice my Dad sitting at the table eating his breakfast.
"Look who's up," he says, all bright and cheery. "Aren't you a busy little beaver?"
My Dad lives to tell bad jokes. He considers it his gift to the world. I realize that I have to nip this in the bud or it will go on all summer long.
I wave my cereal spoon at him with as much menace as I can manage. "That's not funny, Dad."
"What? You don't like the little beaver wordplay?"
"No, I don't"
"Kind of gnaws at you, doesn't it?"
"Stop it, Dad."
"Maybe you should lodge a complaint."
That one almost gets me. I'm trying not to laugh on principle, but he doesn't make it easy. He's a very funny guy. I overcome the urge to give him my toughest look. "That's enough."
"So you're not going to laugh?" he asks.
"No, I'm not."
"Dam!" He says.
"Beaver dam. I get it, Dad. Still not funny." As I say this, I finally break and start to laugh. Some of my milk shoots up my nose, which is just what he wanted.
"Now I can go to work," he says as he finishes his last piece of toast. He gets up, leans over, and gives me a kiss on the forehead. I love you, Janey."

Well, so much for being the hero! I guess I'm the King of bad jokes. And though you may think I would be dejected about the reading, I was actually a little proud and amused. Nothing like tormenting a 13 year old with bad jokes and puns. And to most of you who know me...you can just imagine me filling those shoes. Glad to do it.

So if my tale seems a little flat to you, don't let it gnaw at your inside for too long. I'm sure I'll be able to sink my chompers into some funnier material soon.

Grins


Excerpt from: Animal Attraction by Jamie Ponti